i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
