THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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