just tell him i said nine months
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
