there's paper in my vomit.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
