I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Is it penis luge time yet?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
