Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
