The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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