Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Randomize
