does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
