so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
