But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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