Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
then he tried to convert me to islam
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize