You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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