While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize