I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
