Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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