am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Randomize
