No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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