He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
