Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
