im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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