Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
