Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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