Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
