I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
