how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
