So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
