Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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