...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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