i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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