I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
