dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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