Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
