Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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