The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
