Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
