Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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