im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
