I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
