is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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