To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
