"it" just moved
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
