her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
