you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
