i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
