One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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