i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
