do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize