It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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