theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
