I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
