why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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