I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
