i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How does one acquire holy water?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
