I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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