The maid of honor just puked.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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