turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
