Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
