soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
