It was confusing and full of hummus
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
