She said her name was "party"
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
